I used to be a full-time stay at home dad. Before he went to pre-school, he and I spent almost every minute of the day together. I knew what time he pooped, exactly when he fell asleep for his naps, and when he had each and every tantrum. Then, he went off to pre-school. For those of you with jobs, pre-school for stay at home parents is like Christmas morning, every day. Your child gets to learn, have fun with other kids, and is completely safe, and all of it happens with you not there. The time that your child is at pre-school is the time when you get to look at your email, wander around the grocery store, and, gasp, exercise. It really is quite nice.
And then the summer comes. For some reason, school stops during the summer. Actually, I am told that school stops in the summer so that the kids could help harvest crops on the family farm. I don’t really believe this, as it based in rationality and our educational system is so backwards and stupid that it has no rational basis to it. Anyways, when school stopped in June, I became a full time stay at home dad. Again. That means I am around all day when Malcolm wants to build legos and have them march in a parade. I am around all day when Malcolm wants to play “days and nights,” his words for playing pretend school, pretend library or pretend anything else that he can conjure up. I am around all day when Malcolm goes poop and then charges me $5 for the privilege of wiping his butt. I used to do this every day, but now I can’t seem to keep up. I have definitely started to notice that I am losing it.
I have begun to stress the importance of “alone time” when I work on a project (like this blog posting) and he plays by himself. I have taken to playing scrabble on my phone while locked in our bathroom, hiding from the boy’s energy. (He has figured out a pretty nice little solution to this one; he goes to the bathroom himself, and then yells that he is finished and needs me to wipe his butt, cutting short my bathroom private time and making my pretend wallet $5 lighter. A double whammy!) I tried feeding him a relatively healthy meal last night, cheese quesadillas with broccoli on the side, and after he finished seconds and wanted more, I told him he needed to have something else to round out the meal. Then I fed him a hotdog! I now consider he and I watching the Giants’ game on TV “Quality Father Son Time.”
School starts in a few weeks, and I am ready. I am ready to have him learn in a structured environment again. I am ready to start exercising again. I am ready to go grocery shopping and make some outrageously good weekday meals. I am ready to use the time off to figure out how to best spend the time we are actually together. Either that, or I am ready for Malcolm’s teachers at school to pay the butt wiping fee.
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I understand. One and a half hours playing "nights and days" wears me out!