When In Doubt, Add Cheese

Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Cooking and Eating

I love cheese. Many of my favorite eating experiences involve the stuff, from my mom’s beer cheese fondue growing up to the 30 item cheese cart at Robuchon on my birthday this year. Every time I go to Costco, I stop and pay a moment of silence to the seven pound can of Ortega Nacho Cheese on Aisle 5, desperately trying to rationalize why I would need to purchase it (other than creating the best bathtub experience of all time.) Serve it cold, melt it, slice it, shred it, stick it in a can, I don’t care. Take a non-goat animal and leave it’s milk lying around for a few weeks in a bucket, and I will love eating it.

Not surprisingly, Malcolm has developed quite an affinity for cheese as well, a chip off the old block (of cheddar!)  The good folks at the farmer’s market cheese stand know him by name, as he will sit at their table trying every single morsel they will share with him. He likes those Baby Bel hockey pucks because they are the sporting equipment he can eat. He eats string cheese slowly, licking them as if they were lollipops. This year for Halloween he wants to be a salami and cheese sandwich. Yep, he has queso on the cranium.

For this, I got him to scrub all our toilets!

Luckily, I have found that I can use his weakness against him, a sort of wild-child kryptonite. He will gladly eat green vegetables if we provide enough blue cheese for him to dip them in and I can get him to do pretty much anything during the day if I promise him that he can have pizza afterwords. I am not saying that you should bribe your kids with food, but seriously, if you want them to behave, threaten to cut off their favorite food!

My crowning achievement came earlier this week. I have come close to perfecting the art of the ravioli, and this week’s version had golden beets, kale, portabellas, mozzarella, and shredded soppressata thrown in for good measure. The first half of that list is on Malcolm’s “Do Not Fly” list and would normally have a higher chance of landing on the floor than his belly, but I made one small adjustment. I added more cheese. I put a healthy dollop of mascarpone in his raviolis, and he attacked them like a zombie at a mensa meeting. Mmm brains! Sure, I didn’t tell him about the root vegetables, greens and fungus he was eating but when he is in cheese heaven, I don’t like to worry him with the details. I wouldn’t want to be bothered either.


2 responses to “When In Doubt, Add Cheese”

  1. conrad says:

    “…he attacked them like a zombie at a mensa meeting.”

    Hall of Fame worthy, that.

  2. Annie says:

    Chuck and I today were just talking about our love of cheese…

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