Malcolm is playing with his friend Jack. They are playing some sort of good guy/bad guy, with me alternating between bad guy and badder guy. They each have a arsenal of weapons, ranging from double light sabers to machine guns to the ubiquitous, "I have all the powers." I have it on good authority that Malcolm has never seen a machine gun, yet he knows how to hold it and what it sounds like. He has never seen Star Wars, yet his light saber of fast and strong, and he makes the wam wam sound that appears in the movie.
Certainly, Jack has helped Malcolm along in his weapon education, but Malcolm has been all to receptive. I fully believe that love of guns is hardwired into a boy’s brain. This is based on my empirical study that A) all boys pick up inanimate objects and use them as weapons, and B) girls do not. Don’t get me wrong, some boys move past this and start reading books (I never did) and some girls learn to kick a little ass. 
At this point in their development though, boys love weapons. Give a boy a stick, and he will show you the myriad of ways he can use it to remove your brain from your skull.
I wonder what little cave boys did to entertain themselves. Sure they had sticks, but what did they pretend the sticks were when they were bludgeoning their friends? Is it possible that kids have been using light sabers for the entire history of humanity, and George Lucas just ripped off the idea from all us mean boys? Or, did kids pretend that little sticks were actually really big sticks? Did cave boys not need imaginations because they were actually killing animals with sticks? I have the feeling that if Malcolm actually killed an animal with one of his weapons, he would go crying to his room and never come out. Luckily we will never find out.
Tags: Malcolm misbehaves
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