At my stay at home dads group Monday, on old woman stumbled over and set down at one of our tables. Now, I generally fear old people, so I was not happy about this development. Then she opened her mouth, “Why are all the men taking care of the babies?” Since I was closest to her, I took the lead, “Because we are stay at home dads. We all take care of the kids while our wives work.” Her reply was less than encouraging, “Everything’s gone to hell.” She went on to offer an excuse for why none of use had paying careers, “There are no good jobs anymore, they’ve all gone away.” I thought this was kind of funny, and put aside my distaste for old person smell to engage her for a bit.
Boy was I wrong. She lashed out at everything that happened after the 1940’s, lambasted Obama for spending too much money, and then chastised us for not taking care of our wives and families. When we explained that we literally were taking care of our wives and families, she told us that we should be humiliated. Then she said the whole world had gone to hell (again) nothing good had happened in 40 years. I left when she started to get racist, and heard some of the other members of the group trying to get a word in edgewise.
Usually the comments we get from random people are quite positive, “That’s so awesome! I tried to get my husband to do that. I’ve heard about you guys.” Once, a woman came up to us at a park and said that her mom’s group was jealous that we were drinking beer, because the only good stuff they had were brownies. I offered to trade them our beer for their brownies, but she declined, and later just brought over their leftover brownies for us to eat. So this was really the first time that someone had challenged our roles to our face, but no one minded, considering she was loony as all get up.
But, it did make me think. Being a stay at home is a challenge, but usually by the time you make it out of your house, you are comfortable in your role. There are days when you question what the hell you have done with your life, but that is true when you are a lawyer, insurance salesman, or postal employee, too. I have thought about returning to the workforce, but every time I do, I come to the same conclusion, “work is for suckers.” So old lady, go on and hate us, just as you hate all evidence of progress. Where we sit, progress is just fine.
Tags: dad's group
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