Big Daddy Paul

This past weekend was Thanksgiving and we had a good time in Reno with Amy’s parents, my parents, our friends Marj and Tracy, and three dogs.  Of course, little things happened to make it a special holiday, so I will give you all the highlights.

I am thankful that my family does not have a strong sense of smell.  I forgot to pack deodorant, so I spent much of the weekend living like the french.  I showered most of the time (!) so the stench was less than if it would have happened any other week of the year.  In those circumstances where I noticed a funk, I usually just went and sat by the dogs, who, almost on cue, would fart and make my aroma seem like pumpkin pie.  (I thought about putting on my wife’s deodorant, but that seemed a little kinky, especially since I was already borrowing her underwear.)

I am thankful that Reno is a trashy place.  Amy and I decided to hit the tables one night, and one of the new features in casinos now is table-side head and neck massages.  Amy eagerly took advantage of this new feature, and gladly removed her sweater so that the massage therapist could really get some good leverage going.  The only problem with this was that Amy had forgotten to bring any of her normal bras with her for the trip, so her girls were being supported through the use of a sports bra.  Now, if you had asked me if I would enjoy watching an Asian woman massage my wife wearing only a bra, I would have probably said that I would given up fantasy football to see it.  Having actually watched Amy in her sports bra sitting upright in a casino at the pai gow table getting massaged by a woman in a track suit, bra, I can tell you that I would be better off just sticking to the football.  Luckily, all the people standing in line for the buffet got a good glimpse of it all, but like I said, Reno is trashy and they didn’t really care.

I am thankful that we don’t have four or five cats breaking into our place and peeing and pooping on our floors.  Sure we have the one or two that do it all the time, making our return from out of town trips reminiscent of visiting the bathroom at a Raider game, but just imagine how much worse it would be if there were three or four doing it, eh?  Hey, no matter how shitty your life is (literally or figuratively,)  remember, it can always get worse.

Thanks Jean and Scott for having everyone up to your house for Thanksgiving and cooking outrageously good stuff.  Thanks mom and dad for bringing pie, mexico pictures and for letting me run wild at Blokus.  Thanks Marj and Tracy for all the wine, good cheer and bringing dogs that fart.  Thanks Malcolm for being kinda adorable and thanks Amy for tolerating my antics while creaing some of your own.  Life is pretty good.  Except for the cat piss and shit, that’s got to end soon.