The State Of Our House

Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Uncategorized

Obama got his shot last night, so today it’s my turn. Don’t worry, I won’t bore you all with my fantastic take on the direction our country is headed. Instead, I will focus on things germane to our house. What is the state of our house? Messy. We got crap everywhere. It takes me a week or two to get the large amounts of junk out each room and chuck it somewhere Amy won’t notice. Most of the time, I just lump stuff into makeshift piles in the office. Never ever go into our office.

IMG_2539What else is up with our house? Plenty! We recently unveiled plans to take Malcolm to Spring Training in Arizona in March. Like baseball and warm weather? Join us! Malcolm is excited to get autographs from real players, and we are hoping he continues to enjoy the game. I am hoping that the Giants team will look better on the field than they do on paper.┬áIt doesn’t really matter, as long as he wears his uniform, I am happy.

Amy continues to excel in role at Oracle. At least, I think she has a job. She drinks a lot during the day and has a long meetings every afternoon with some guy named “Jacque.” She assures me that “Jacque” is a high level executive, but the guy drives a Trans Am and wears a lot of cologne. I am hopeful that Amy’s face time with such a powerful man will reap long term career benefits.

I am enjoying blogging, cooking and plotting my revenge against the neighborhood cats. (Oh yes, they will suffer by my own hands. I’m just biding my time.) Malcolm and I have good days and bad, but I am generally threatening to lock him in the crawlspace less this year than last. Progress! I am confident that I will fully understand parenting in the next week or two and that I will unlock the keys to raising a perfect child. Stay tuned.

For his part, Malcolm is learning to read and write, learning basic math, and learning to kick the living bejeezus out of his classmates at school. He came home the other day with a huge scratch on his face and, when I asked him about it, he said, “I had a fight with Jack. I won 72 to 1.” I took that to mean, “You should see the other guy.” He amazes and scares the shit out of me on a daily basis and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

So that’s the state of the house. Save your applause for when you see me next. Or, just save your applause and help me clean the office. I am afraid to go in there alone.

2 responses to “The State Of Our House”

  1. Scott says:

    Your fans should know that the office makes a really fine bedroom – and you always said you didn’t have a litter box!

  2. Oh it could be so much worse! Just imagine if Amy hadn’t spent so much time cleaning in there.

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