The Difference Between A Stay At Home Dad And A Minister
Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Paul is a DorkMy dad is a Methodist minister. This may come as a surprising fact to many of you considering the profanity-laced diatribes directed at my son that regularly appear on this blog. While there are many similarities between our jobs (most notably being asked, “You got anything on underneath that robe?”) there are a lot of things between our professions that are different. Here are the main differences:
Talking to the boss. My dad has a personal relationship with God, and he talks to God through prayer. I talk to Malcolm incessantly throughout the day, (and some of the time the conversations don’t involve bodily functions!) The difference between our little chats is that God doesn’t talk back, and I mean that figuratively. I’m pretty sure that the answers to my dad’s prayers don’t involve God saying “You hurt my feelings, and you can’t come to my birthday.” Maybe it’s the fact that Malcolm is only five years old and God has been around since the dawn of time, but Malcolm definitely needs to learn that tantrums will not get me to do what he wants. I’m pretty sure religion would have died out a long time ago if the Ten Commandments began, “Thou Shalt Not Deprive Me Of TV And Candy This Afternoon Or I Will Scratch You In The Face.”
Thou Shalt Not Ignore Me At A Restuarant!
A bad day at office. For me, a bad day involves forgetting to pack a lunch or having a knock-down drag-out fight over whether he has to wear clean underpants. For my dad, it involved someone beloved in the congregation dying. Sure hygiene issues are important, but they definitely pale in comparison to the weighty issues in dealing with loss and heartache in the church. That is, of course, unless you count having to cajole Malcolm into going to swim class when he doesn’t want to. Sometimes, I’d rather sit with the deceased church member’s family. Less painful.
Use of the term, “Sweet Jesus.” My dad speaks of Jesus often, usually taking the form of “Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, give us the strength to walk in your path.” I also say the words, “Sweet Jesus” often, except in a drastically different way, “SWEET JESUS MALCOLM, WHY DID YOU THROW MY PHONE IN THE TOILET!!!”
Finally, Heaven and Hell. To my dad, Heaven and Hell are places where you go when you die. He instructs people on the particulars on avoiding one and getting to the other. For me, however, Heaven and Hell are not places I instruct Malcolm on getting to when he dies; he takes me there (usually both in the same day!) Hell is brushing his teeth when he won’t let me. Hell is a tantrum in public. But every coin has a flip side. There is a heaven too. Heaven is playing catch. Heaven is hearing him sing Christmas songs. And sometimes, Heaven is something so very simple, like the sound of his laughter when I show him that, indeed, I’ve got nothing on underneath the robe.
Tags: Malcolm misbehaves
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I often wondered what kind of father you had, because despite promising ourselves we will NOT bring our children up the way we were, we do in the most part.
Now I am totally shocked except I know a Methodist who often reads your posts and laughs herself silly every time. not so far apart really, and if you talked to God occasionally he might just help with the tantrums, food fights and inappropriate behaviour; not sure he can help with Malcolm though.
Ha!
This is great. I am a minister and I see what you are talking about.
As a minister I try and teach my congregation how to pray, how to read the Bible and how to worship — as a father I try and teach my son how to eat with a fork, how to dress himself, and how to spell his name.
As a minister I try and comfort someone when they are sick or dying — as a father I try and comfort my kids when they fall down and go boom boom.
Some of the roles are similar – just the particulars are different.
Thanks
Hope you never get the roles mixed up. Would hate to hear a 30 minute sermon on why it’s not acceptable to have your hands in your pants at the mall.
Maybe if you talked to God less, he’d stop sending the tantrums, food fights and inappropriate behavior. Ever consider that?
No, in fact I didn’t.
I too visit both Heaven and Hell in the same day, so I know just what you mean. And you’re lucky in that you only have one kid. I have both a daughter and a son so in addition to all that you have mentioned, I also get to play referee at times. It’s great! I’m not a drinker, but tonight I set sail with Captain Morgan. He was a good Captain too, as I am much more relaxed than I was three hours ago!
The trouble really starts when you make Captain Morgan the referee!
Thanks for the giggles.
Giggles or just your teeth chattering away in the cold?
Is your Dad Ricky Bobby? Who else prays to sweet Baby Jesus. I love it. Thanks, Paul.
Yeah, that apple fell a little far from the tree I’d say….
I know well of this heaven and hell of which you speak. My 2 yo son provides visitation to both on a regular basis.
Let’s just say I am sometimes happy to leave for the office most days while daddy stays home with the wee one also known as Dr. Destructo.
Enjoy all the days. They don’t last forever!
[...] Daddy Paul whose father was a minister and he is a stay at home dad. He wrote a post about the difference between being a minister and being a stay at home dad. It was a great and entertaining post for me because I knew exactly what he was talking about. [...]