Spring Break!

Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Malcolm Stories

I used to love spring break. In my wilder younger days, I would spend the better park of a week in the following endless loop:

Wahooo!

(drink)

Spring break!!!

(drink)

Where are my pants?

(drink)

Wahoo! Spring break!!!!

(snore)

Considering how much of my past spring breaks I actually can’t remember, it’s amazing I still have any positive memories at all.

Now, spring break has a totally different meaning altogether. Primarily, it means that Malcolm has no school, which in turn means I need to be a full time dad again and not just a chaffeur and cook. Once you have the sweet taste of parenting freedom, it can often seem daunting to return to the times when you have to be responsible for planning out just how you and your child are going to spend every minute of the day. Yikes!

When I first start planning activities during such holidays, I usually consider the following factors when deciding what we should do each day:

1. Is it enriching for Malcolm?

2. Will he enjoy doing it?

3. Does it cost any money?

4. Will I enjoy doing it?

5. Will it make my job easier?

By the end, though, this list gets turned on its head. (If I were really being truthful, though, I should say the end of the week activities are guided by the lone principal, “How can I get this kid out of my hair for a few hours?”) With the intrepidation building, Malcolm and I prepared for our week together. To make things even more challenging, Amy was gone for a few days traveling to an out-of-town conference. Double yikes!

To my great surprise, the week flew by with both of us having a blast together. Here’s what we did (it would help if you took a deep breath and then hold it in while you read the following run-on sentence, exhaling only when you get to the end):

This was definitely NOT the wet tee shirt contest I was used to.

We watched golf, ate Doritos, played golf, went to dad’s group, went camping, ate s’mores, played baseball with play dates, had baseball practice, play date at park with other friends, played golf again (94 yard drive by Malkie!), family soccer game, saw Gnomeo and Juliet with pals, recreated both the men’s and women’s entire March Madness basketball tournaments (including filling out the brackets), went to Chabot space and science center with buddies, watched Giants’ home opener, went to another dad’s group, hit golf balls at driving range and had yet another play date watching small planes land at Buchanon Fields airport.

Phew! Both of us were a little bummed that school started again today, signifying the end of relaxed bed times, non-stringent departure times and, worst of all, not making a lunch for school every day. The good news is that I am actually excited for summer break this year instead of dreading it like my trip to Dr./CPA office for my annual proctology exam/tax meeting. (That’s right, I decided to combine the two worst things in my life into one event, figuring one REALLY bad day is better than two pretty bad ones. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than your accountant/physician asking you about miscellaneous “entertainment” expenses with his finger in your pooper.)

So yes, spring break is different now. I can remember almost everything that happened and I didn’t get drunk a single time this week. Some would say that this is worse, but I liked it just fine. Wahoo!

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4 responses to “Spring Break!”

  1. Matzel says:

    You are a good dad.

  2. Mark says:

    Quite a disturbing sentence…..miscellaneous “entertainment” expenses with his finger in your pooper. Don’t write that again!!!!

    • Ya, that was pretty rough. I was going to write, “there’s nothing worse than your accountant/physician asking you about “gross margins” with his finger in your colon, but it just seemed too long.

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