Are you the type of person that enjoys picking their scabs? Do you sniff your fingers after pumping gas? If someone says to you, “this tastes terrible, try it!” do you try it, or push the spoon away? I am a glutton for punishment, so I do all these things. (I also pay a squat German woman to bind my feet and call me Mulan while hurling dumplings at me, but don’t tell Amy that or she will think I am weird.)
I am currently torturing myself over the thicket that is Malcolm’s future education. Just when I make headway towards a decision, I reverse course 180 degrees. I then get overwhelmed and do jello shots to try and make the pounding in my brain disappear. I then repeat the whole process over the next day, and the vicious cycle continues.
We are currently attempting to decide between a montessori elementary school program and our local public school. No decision I have ever made with Malcolm seems as as important as this one, save my decision to let Malcolm watch Jerry Springer and have his vocabulary limited to, “You aint the boss of me!” As such, I keep mulling the decision in my head over and over again without ever really getting anywhere. Considering the enormousness of my midsection, you’d think that I would have a gut feeling leading me down one of the paths. I don’t. The only path my gut leads me to is the path to salami.
I hope that we will continue to weigh the prospective pros and cons and that we will make a conscientious decision with Malcolm’s best interests in mind. I also hope that day comes soon, because I am tired of the debate I have with myself over it. Sadly, I have a sneaky suspicion that I’ll miss a deadline and that Malcolm will get stuck going to a school operated by a guy with two left shoes who operates out of a leisure van. I guess it won’t be all that bad, because the man will probably ask Malcolm many times to smell his fingers and some of those times, his fingers will smell of gasoline.
Tags: parenting
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he should go wherever rowan goes (if malcom gets in, of course)
Why would Malcolm want to go to a school that even Rowan could get into?