Never nude

Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Malcolm Stories

Well, I had avoided it until now. I had heard stories of parents having difficulties getting their kids’ dressed, wrestling with girls trying to get them to wear something besides a princess outfit, or boys wanting to wear the same green shirt day after day. We were different, and I was totally thankful for it. Malcolm showed about as much interest in the clothes that he wore as I pay to the salad bar at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Every once in a while, he would poo poo an item I selected from the dresser, but for the most part he was pretty easy about clothes.

Until now. Like most of Malcolm’s problems, I can safely say that they are someone else’s fault. This time, it’s Malcolm’s Aunties, Marj and Tracy. They generously bought him a SF Giants Jersey when we were in Arizona, and now he won’t take the fucking thing off! He wants to wear it every day while also holding the top spot as his favorite pair of pajamas. His attachment to the jersey is so strong that he wants to wear it with every outift, and things have gotten a bit strange. He has morphed the jersey into some bizarre gladiator costume. Well that’s not 100% correct but how else would you explain this getup?

That’s right, he has begun wearing shorts over his pants, and that combined with his desire to never take the outfit off has made think that this is the first step towards becoming a never nude. Zowie!

I have told him that he cannot wear the same clothes every day, stressing the importance of clean clothes and variety. This approach has failed, most most notably because A) I have no credibility on the subject and B) because I kind of like the fact that he wants to wear Giants gear every day. I don’t get too wound up over it, as this is pretty small potatoes. Besides, he dresses himself, and it would not help the process at all for me to tell him after he has dressed himself to go back put on something else. Actually, that’s something Amy does to for me, and to tell you the truth, I don’t like it very much. I guess it could be worse, he could want to put this on every day:

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13 responses to “Never nude”

  1. Keith Wilcox says:

    Letting the kids dress themselves is a lesson in patience. I’m going through a similar thing these days with my boys. One of them insists on wearing a nice collard shirt with sweatpants and crocs (I saw your previous post). Hopefully fashion sense comes with experience. If not then we’re in for a fun ride. 🙂

  2. Tracy Weitz says:

    I’ll take this as a charge to buy him more than one giants outfit next year.

  3. Louise says:

    Tsk, Paul, I have absolutely no sympathy! Given your previous post, you have no one to blame but yourself!!
    As you yourself admit, you have no credibility, and that child has inherited far too much intelligence (Amy’s his mother, right?) to pay any heed to your pathetic ‘do as I say, not as I do’ routine! 😉

  4. Scott says:

    So is Malkie now the Giants’ best warning track power hitter AND the Warriors’ only credible scorer?

  5. Amy says:

    Hey – he’s got style! Check out the criss-cross on his left shoe … the less fashionable would definitely go with the right.

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