I don’t want Malcolm to be an economist. Economists, with the exception of Amy’s dad, are well known to be immoral pleasure seekers who drink and gamble all day. Actually, that explains Amy’s dad perfectly. We sure wouldn’t want Malcolm turning out like that, would we? That’s why I am troubled by Malcolm’s continued trip down the path to mastering economics. Last time, he learned the law of diminishing returns through eating a grilled cheese sandwich.
This time, it’s opportunity cost and girlfriends. Economists would define opportunity cost as the value of the next-best choice available to someone who has picked between several mutually exclusive choices. Of course, we all know what economists do with their time, so I’ll break it down into language that non-degenerates can understand: If you do or buy something, then you can’t do or buy something else. The something else is the opportunity cost. If you buy a My Little Pony set, you can’t buy an ounce of weed with that money. If you go bowling, you can’t go to the strip club. Sadly, both of these examples are decisions Amy’s dad had to make last week.
The other day, I asked Malcolm if he played with his friend Clio at school. He said that he hadn’t because Clio only wanted to play kitties and he didn’t want to play kitties anymore. (Kitties is a game where Malcolm and Clio are the mommies and the toys in the schoolyard, dinosaurs and sharks included, are the kitties.) Malcolm said that he wanted to play “superhereeyoes,” a game in which Malcolm and his friends in the yard run around using their special “powers” to beat the living tar out of each other. Malcolm used to play kitties all the time, but now he seems a bit bored with it. He has decided that the opportunity cost associated with kitties (the value of beating the tar out of his friends) is higher than the enjoyment of playing mommy to a shark he pretends is a kitty. So, he has acted as a rational decision-maker, and chosen the option that gives him the most satisfaction. Judging by the large gash one of his friends took out of his cheek, I am guessing he needs to learn how to fight a little better. Maybe Amy’s dad can teach him, but that will be another lesson.
Tags: Econ Lessons
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Now you’ve got me thinking … I didn’t see a My Little Pony at my Dad’s. Wondering what he used the money on??