Blogs are nice, but you can’t read them very easily while going to the bathroom or while sidling up to the swim up bar. Sadly, these are the things I care about most. To ameliorate this, I am going to write a book.
I know what you must be thinking, “Paul, you’re not that bright, whatever are you going to write about?” Fear not, naysayers, there is one thing that I do indeed know a lot about, and that is being me. I am going to write a book about my goofy experiences as a stay at home dad. I like making people laugh and want to get the word out that being a stay at home dad is a fun and rewarding experience. I am going to hit two birds with one stone and hope that both birds die. Then, I’ll sell the birds for a lot of money and use that money to put Malcolm through school. That’s the plan, anyways.
I figured I would start with the reason this blog came into our existence, our trip to Europe a few years ago. The trip was very challenging and I think will be a interesting backdrop for me to tell my silly stories. It will be a mixture of a travel memoir, foodie journal, and stay at home dad expose. If you need a frame of reference, think Jason Bourne with a toddler and an affinity for fried dough.
Why I am I telling you this? I tell you everything! This blog got a lot easier to do when I realized that I should just write about everything that we are going through. Well, this is what I’m doing! I am sure I will fuck things up in this endeavor like I do with everything else that I set my mind to, so count on reading about missteps I take down the long path to literary stardom. 
From time to time, I will write posts about the process of getting the book published. I’ll also be working on sample chapters, so some upcoming posts might seem weird. I didn’t want you to get worried that all of a sudden I had an apartment in London or was getting thrown out of French boutiques.
So that’s what I am up to today. If you want a glimpse of what a book of mine would be like, print this out and take it with you to the bathroom. Let me know how it goes.
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It was good, thanks. Very relaxing, but my leg fell asleep.
When you don’t kill both birds, it’s ok, remember, one in the hand is worth two in the bush!
You must read Slummy Mummy by Fiona Neill. Chick-lit, but written by a Brit, which means it’s actually damn good. Very funny novel about being a stay-at-home mom in modern day London.
Let’s all hope Malcolm has a yet undiscovered talent, like badminton, if he intends on getting a college degree.
I would seriously buy a copy! Good luck.
Brad, I didn’t say college, i just meant elementary school!
Kyle, I don’t want Amy to think that failure is an option. So, I have amassed a small army of dead birds in the crawlspace. That way, when she asks if I got both birds, I can say “Yes!: every day.
Erica, i’ll probably need you to by more than one. I’ll put you down for 38. Thanks!
Put me down for 38 as well
I know that I’m off topic here (like someone else I know) but where was the picture taken?
Thanks for the suggestion – what a charmin idea!
The picture was taken in Maine. That is Matt’s parents’ cat. He (the cat) didn’t like me very much, as you can tell.
I think you writing is a book is a great idea…and I’ll be the first to bring a six-pack to your book signing!!!