We weren’t going to be "those parents." We heard too many horror stories of parents letting televisions raise their kids. We were going to be different. No way, couldn’t happen to us. We were sure that TV was an evil to be avoided, sort of like shellfish at a buffet. Studies show that for young children, every hour that they watch TV is one fewer word that they learn. TV teaches your kid to love fast food, fear the outdoors, and that violence is the best way to solve any problem. We were sure that if Malcolm watched enough TV he would turn into an overweight, lethargic mess who would learn how to bash someone’s brain in before learning his multiplication tables.
And then, some cracks began to form in the dam. Malcolm was waking up from his nap in a very cranky mood, and it was becoming difficult to cheer him up. So, we let him watch a show when he woke up. He would have a little snack and enjoy a little TV while his brain was adjusting to consciousness. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
Then I learned that I could get stuff done by letting Malcolm watch shows. This came in handy when we hade people coming over for dinner, or doing taxes, or, in rare circumstances, when I needed to research fantasy football. I tried to avoid putting him in front of the screen for too long, but his shows were educational. Aint nothing wrong with that.
Slowly, but surely, more cracks formed in the dam, eventually causing it to burst. Now we let Malcolm watch TV in the car on long journeys, when we have guests over and we want to enjoy them and not entertain the kids, or the end of the week white flag that signals our inability to do any more parenting: "Movie Night." What’s worse, we used to closely monitor everything that he watched to ensure that he was being exposed to anything untoward. Now, he watches anything that people will show him, including, (gasp!), PG movies. I remember feeling bad that Malcolm once saw Shrek while we were waiting at the doctor’s office, now I don’t blink an eye when I see him watching Porky’s. Ah well, it is one of the many shortcomings that we have as parents. We try, but it is impossible for us to be the perfect parents that we thought Malcolm deserved. I just hope the words he is missing out on while watching are all dirty words. Then again, Porky’s is probably teaching him how to swear.
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