Hello There

Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Paul is a Dork

Hi, my name is Paul. I write this blog. I am going to take a moment to depart from my normal hard hitting topics and discuss something of great significance with you today. Actually, my mind is kinda drawing a blank right now. Isn’t there somewhere in the world that is going through a great deal of suffering right now?  I guess I’ll spend the rest of the post talking about how nice my legs look in shorts. Yowza!

Actually, this is good. I can talk about my blog. I started this blog to talk about what it is like to travel to Europe with Malcolm and Amy. Then, I wrote long posts about funny things that happened to us in the world. Now, my blog posts are shorter (yay!) but occur more often (boo!).  They usually have a specious link to reality and reveal a shocking lack of taste. I try to also show lots of pictures of Malcolm.

I write this blog because I enjoy trying to make people laugh. If you have ever met me, you can undoubtedly tell a story or two about how I have removed my pants at an inappropriate setting or taken a conversation so far outside the bounds of polite society that you cringe and laugh at the same time (Linging? Craughing?) I am a ham, and this blog allows me to ham it up. I am forever grateful that Amy lets me do this instead of clean the house or learn how to cook meatballs. Plus, I writing about the pain of child rearing is cathartic. I don’t really know what that means, I just want you all to be impressed that I know how to use fancy words (like craughing!).

That’s where you all come in. You brighten my day when you tell Amy or I that you enjoy reading this. I love waking up in the morning and a) I don’t find any Vietnamese men around and b) I find reader comments on the blog. Comments on a blog are like applause after an ice skating routine. I don’t watch ice skating, but I imagine it would be pretty embarrassing to finish your magical routine only to have an entire arena sit on their hands. A comment tells me that you’re reading and that you might be coming back tomorrow. I really do appreciate them.

So, here’s what I want you to do. If you like the post, leave a comment. It obviously won’t be as witty as the stuff I write, but that’s OK. I am quite clever. You can tell me what you ate for breakfast. You can tell me what book you are reading. You can tell me that you find me oddly attractive, like if you put Tom Selleck’s head on a corn dog. You don’t even have to introduce it, just write things like “Biscuit, or Catcher in the Rye.” Sharing is caring, and I would love to hear from the people who read this. I guarantee that if you leave a comment with a totally useless piece of information in it, I will smile. If you are so inclined, you could also become my fan on Facebook, the button should be on the right of this page. Then we can share irrelevant information on multiple platforms.

Lastly, tell a friend.  I don’t know where this thing is going, but I could get their faster if everyone in the world read my blog. Actually, you know that place in the world where all the people are doing all that suffering? It would all end if they just tuned in to bigdaddypaul.com. The only way to save them is to get the word out. Thanks everyone! And now, without further ado:

Look at dem ham hocks!

Look at dem ham hocks!


24 responses to “Hello There”

  1. Amy says:

    Yum, ham hocks.

  2. Kyle says:

    Ham…makes me think of slit pea soup?!

  3. Kramer says:

    Reese Puffs.
    p.s. I hope I get to craugh this summer at the family reunion, you guys comin?

  4. kc says:

    i love sardines

  5. Laurie says:

    You nailed it! I often write a comment but then don’t submit it because its stupid and not witty. Like this one….

  6. Juddy says:

    I always thought you looked more like Brad Pitt on a corn dog, not Tom Selleck.

  7. Gracie says:

    You have never let me down… you have always made me laugh… I tell people about your blog from time to time and then they laugh too…

  8. Gracie says:

    More Malcolmisms Please… My son’s latest one is “Mommy, I need more juice… please… I command you…”

  9. Susan says:

    Yowza!! but you should learn how to make meatballs …really… it’s necessary

    call me when they’re done 🙂

  10. Jean says:

    I think I am always the first reader of your blogs (because I arise so early). Most of them make me laugh, sometimes I cringe, sometimes I am embarrassed for you … but I always enjoy them!

  11. That’s what I’m, talkin’ about people. Thanks!

  12. Marjean says:

    OK put all this “stuff” together and write a book! Make Money! Be Famous!

  13. Emily says:

    wheat toast with butter…your blog is one of the few that makes me bust out laughing-I am pretty sure my four year old daughter is a female version of Malcolm-the “you are not invited to my birthday party” trantrum threat I thought was unique to only her…apparently not!

  14. Marj says:

    OK, OK – I’ll comment but only if you cover the legs! Please! There are children and lesbians who read these things. Actually, the only reason I don’t comment is you are really gross with questionable parenting skills (no offense meant) and so I worry about future employers finding out that I actually read your blog.

  15. Bob says:

    I had cheerios for breakfast

  16. Bob says:

    How do we know those are your legs?

  17. I know I have struck the right chord when one person tells me to write a book and another says my blog may limit her future employment opportunities. Throw in a “How do we know those are your legs?” and my day: made!

    Emily, I hope Malcolm and your daughter never meet. The perfect storm…

    Gracie: did you laugh or send you daughter to her room?

    Yes, we are heading to Montana this summer!

  18. Larissa says:

    Emily (see above) told us about your website and we’ve been faithful readers ever since. You have followers in Wisconsin!

  19. Erica says:

    Yep, Emily told me about you too. The thing about following blogs is that I feel sort of stalker like. So I guess I should say “thanks” for letting us stalk you?

  20. Brenna says:

    I love reading your blog!

  21. Kathi says:

    Awesome. I have a goal to participate more in blogs but I usually have nothing interesting to say. So I am happy to reach my goal by posting uninteresting things in your blog.

    Can you make more posts about “talent” so I can get some credit at work for reading your blog?

  22. Thanks for spreading the word, Emily. Larissa and Erica, welcome to the party. You are not stalking me. I am stalking you. You both need to use your turn signals more and drive around in your bathrobes less. Thanks for reading!

    I will gladly take ideas to make people more comfortable reading this garbage at work. I will try to work Talent into an upcoming post. Shouldn’t be hard, I have a lot of “talent” myself. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  23. Meg Bear says:

    You are right — nice legs!

  24. […] stomach. I am not hopelessly out of shape. You’ve seen my legs, they’re quite nice. Yet, for all my efforts at exercise (playing basketball with a couple of […]

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