Dad’s Group Love Triangle

Posted by Big Daddy Paul in Miscellaneous Waste of Time

Just so there is no misunderstanding, this post is not about how hot I think Luke is, and how this upsets Randy. No, I like all the guys in my stay at home dad’s group equally (even if they all hate me!) I speak today of Malcolm and the lurid details of the little girls he spends time with every monday afternoon. While I thought the kids were developing healthy and fun relationships with each other, they were actually spinning a web of lies and deceit, a social scene of such intrigue that it makes Dangerous Liasons seem like a hug fest. After drafting the story up, though, I realized that it was a little lame. To spice it up a bit, the part of Malcolm will be played by a high school freshman who thinks he is a rapper, and I will be played by a Francophile librarian who is relating the story to the large herd of cats he keeps in his apartment.

The drama hung thick in the air at dad’s group on Monday, little ones. Malcolm and Samara made a fine couple on the play structure with each other. When some other kids got there, Samara was all of a sudden playing with a younger man. His name was Hudson and he had the dashing looks of a pre-pubscent Harrison Ford. Oh, the ribaldry! Hudson, a provocateur glad to have all the attention he was suddenly getting, smiled, sending Malcolm into fits of jealous rage, yelling “I’m a stone cold killa! ”  Hudson had no idea what his part was in this tawdry affair, but quickly was handed the business end of a long, slow tackle that ended only when Samara went elsewhere and started sweet talking the hunk holding the Pirate Booty.

Mia, Samara and Meredith with Malcolm

Later, Malcolm was able to convince Meredith and Mia to play house under one of the tables. A walk on the spicy side, that is for sure, but it ended abruptly when the girls held hands and announced that Malcolm was a boy and they couldn’t play with him any more. Mee-yow! Malcolm shouted, “AH-HEARGH! Yallz a bunch of beeyotches anyhow.” I consoled his broken heart little ones, but I fear the sadness of a forbidden love that would never come to pass was more than his little heart could take. He sat down and ate his lunch quietly.  (Notably, he did NOT sit next to Samara, who was still plopped down next to the Pirate Booty guy. Harlot!)

Finally, Priya showed up. Her dad brought goodies for the kids, but Priya didn’t want to tell anyone what the goodies were. Merde! (Sorry Stu!) Evidently, Priya wanted to dangle her savory concoctions over the other kids until their sense of excitement could not be contained! Malcolm told her to “quit frontin'” or she was “gonna get jacked.” Not wanting that, Priya finally opened the goodie bag to reveal she had brought Mini M & M’s and cupcakes to share with all the children, a true bon vivant! After all the other kids had their cupcakes and left, Malcolm and Priya were left at the park to play, two islands in a deserted sea free to enjoy what each other had to offer. Priya would coyly take Malcolm’s hand into her own, and Malcolm would reply, “Bring that sweet bootie over here baby girl, you fine!”  The end of the afternoon was simply splendid, no drama, no tears.

Until next week, little ones. Until next week.

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2 responses to “Dad’s Group Love Triangle”

  1. Amy says:

    Sounds like a maze, rather than a triangle, Paul.

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